Just Me

So, it happened again...

2009-06-04T14:10:00.003-05:00

Rover's gone! Yes, I lost Laika back in October due to Cancer and on May 23rd, just 2 weeks ago, I found my beautiful, 3 year old Bulldog dead. He went in his sleep! Don't know what happened, I miss him! I love him! I know he went to be with Laika, their connection was way deeper than I could ever have with anyone and he missed her more than what I can understand. I just hope he's in heaven with her and they are together and waiting for me. This one for Rover, I love you big guy! He was the best dog I could of asked for! I miss my little big guy! SO, I'm running a marathon on their behalf! In their honor for PAWS, it's a 26.2K run, so good luck to me. If you would like to contribute to this great cause, for abused animals, for shelters, please visit my site and remember, anything helps! thank you in advance!

http://pawschicago.kintera.org/2009marathon/laikarover

Facebook much?

2009-04-30T14:04:00.002-05:00

Okay, so I haven't really updated this or even been here for a while... I'm into facebook right now, although I think it's just a face.... maybe not. I was into Myspace, but that's so time consuming too, I find Facebook more user friendly... I'm enjoying it, plus I've gotten in touch with many old friends, like from 2nd grade, which I haven't seen in like 15 years, and we've reunited, it's great.

So, Matilda, our new doggie, is doing great, she's growing up and she's so adorable, I'm very happy to have her.
Adrian is doing his 1st communion on May 9th; he's really looking forward to it and so am I. We're having a big party for it... I'll "hopefully" post some pics.

Hope you guys are all doing well!

And a new story begins...

2009-03-05T16:05:00.005-06:00

First of all, can't believe it's been so long since I last posted. We've been busy at work and well, that's when I do all this stuff. Anyway... so we adopted a puppy on Tuesday. She's 7 weeks and she's a German Shepherd. I saved her life! She and her siblings (all girls) where left on the side of a highway (those bastards) and they were taken to a pound and the humane society saved them and I adopted one. She's adorable... I really like her. No name yet, can you believe it? It's probably because I'm so in love with Laika that no other name will ever be good enough. I miss Laika terribly still, I still cry sometimes.. incredible how much I loved and still love her today.

Here's a pic of our new little lady:

Sleeping in the car:

Rover meets puppy:

What's new...

2009-01-15T10:08:00.000-06:00

it's sooooooooooooo cold, seriously, it is!!!! It's -25 degrees out there, that's insane. How are we suppose to "function" this way. The schools are closed, but not our jobs - therefore I'm here. Luckily my mom was able to stay home with Adrian so I'm very grateful, that way he doesn't have to leave the house at all... the weather out there is insane to say the least. Mexico is in my mind more everyday.....

Back to routine...

2009-01-07T11:04:00.002-06:00

the holidays went by so fast! Wow! but anyway, I'm back to my routine, as am sure most of you are. I had a nice time off, here and there and as every year, I brought Adrian to the office Christmas Eve and visited Santa. I've done that since he was 1 and he loves it. The days are getting shorter here in Chicago, it seems that I come in the office when it's dark and I leave when it's dark... bummer... why does Winter have to be so cold and just sort of depressing really... at least for me. I feel bad for Adrian, who goes from School to the YMCA and then home to have dinner, do homework, take a shower and pretty much back to bed. I really hate routine... I wish I was rich and didn't have to work and lived in a nice, sunny state and have fun all day with Adrian. But no such luck! So for now, I'm very grateful for my job.

Hope all of you had a great Christmas and an awesome 2009!!!!!!

Cold

2008-12-22T15:47:00.003-06:00

Cold does not even begin to explain how beyond freezing it is here in Chicago, seriously people when the thermometer reads -1 and windshield factor is -30, I feel like I am going to die!!! Seriously, working in downtown and walking to and from the train, wow, it's amazing how we make it. It feels like so much pain in your legs, face, eyes, anything!!! Horrible... It's begining to FEEL a lot like christmas!

Seriously...

2008-12-18T14:30:00.003-06:00

Living in Chicago this time a year really sucks! Yeah, yeah, we get the white Christmas and all, but driving conditions, weather and traffic sucks! I actually had to drive to work the day before yesterday and it took me 5 HOURS to get home!!! Yes, what usually would have taken me 45 minutes, took me 5 hours!?! Why?!? Because the snow turns into ice when it's cold, therefore we end up driving like 1/4 miles an hour IF you're lucky! Plus, driving a stickshift in that traffic was horrible! So now we're getting prepared for a worse snow day, sever weather advisory starts today at 6 pm and end tomorrow noon! We are expecting to get up to 1 foot of snow with sleet!

Good luck to us! Hope you are all enjoying your Xmas season more than me! Take care!!

I've been out of it..

2008-12-04T14:04:00.002-06:00

I have not been myself. I feel that this has just not been my year. Maybe because the economy is so bad, my dog dying and loosing my truck, I have just had one bad experience next to another.
Although I am thankful that we are healthy, Adrian is doing well and he's doing great in school - that, I'm very greatful for. It's so cold out here... today - a high of 17 degrees, yep, that's Chicago weather for you. I hope you all are doing great!!! Me, I hope next year bring me positive surprises!!

I've lost her...

2008-10-24T11:35:00.003-05:00

Laika is gone. I miss her. I love her. I hope to see her again one day.

I had to put my best friend down last Friday, it was horrible. The hardest decision I've ever had to make. She wasn't breathing, she was weezing and the vet told me that she would eventually turn blue and not breath, so I made the decision of putting her to sleep.

I miss her so much!!! Can't believe that she could make me feel this way.

Laika, you will always be in my heart. I love you! Rover misses you too!

tomorrow

2008-10-07T10:34:00.002-05:00

Adrian turns 8!! It's his golden birthday and he's been waiting for it for the longest time! he's so excited! He's having a party at Haunted Trails this weekend and I'll do something small for him at home tomorrow. I thank God every day for him!

To loose a best friend....

2008-09-22T10:01:00.002-05:00

That's what I'm preparing myself to do.... Many people would judge me... because at the end of the day, I'm talking about my dog, Laika. I got confirmation Friday that my best friend Laika has cancer - lymphoma. It's very progressed and the vet says she has about 2 months to live. While many wouldn't understand my pain, really, I don't care! I know it hurts to know I will be loosing her... that one that always waits for me with a happy attitude ready to do just about anything I feel like. That one who always made me feel happy and loved, I still need her. I can't believe that she will be out of my life in just months... I'm not ready to say good bye. Although I've learned so much because of her, I know I still need to learn more. Why do I have to go through this now... my life has just had turn after turn, and they are not good. As I've said before, I give thanks to God that Adrian is healthy and all, but why do I have to keep on going through more hurtles in life in such a short time frame? I look at Laika and seeing that she still wants to go with me on those long walks even though she is slower and breathing heavier just makes me appreciate her even more. I've come to realize that it wasn't her who needed me but me who needed her. How she's been in my life for 5 years and I've counted on her to be my companion, my confident.. my best friend. Every night since Friday I have hugged her one last time at night, I have kissed one more time, I have enjoyed her presence just a bit longer.

I hate pit bulls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

2008-09-04T11:37:00.003-05:00

Tuesday morning, as I was taking my dog out for a walk, my next door neighbor's pit bull got loose and attached my dog. Very bad! Super bad! The experience, I don't wish to my worse enemy, it was horrible. I thought she was dead. Please people, don't own pit bulls, I don't care if you THINK they are sweet, if it's never bitten anyone before, it is in their nature, I don't care what anyone says. This dog tried to kill my dog, and with no reason, he came out of nowhere, picked her up by the neck and almost destroyed her. Mind you, my dog is no little dog, she's 50 lbs, and is a Chinese Shar Pei, but she didn't even try to fight back. And me, well, I felt distroyed, tried to get the fu#$ dog off of her and his owner tried to and finally he let go of her. Luckily, my dog is alive, she had to have surgery and got many, many stitches, but she's going to be okay, I hope. The dog next door, was put to sleep. Not by my request, the owner decided it was the best thing. They have a baby at home and I have a son and it could of been worse. They are very sorry this happened and paid for the hospital bills, they recognize it was their fault, not their dog. Unfortunately, the dog is dead now.

Here's a picture of my baby, once she came home:

The pictures don't really show the gravity of the bites in the neck, but you have an idea.

This is just her being lovely:

things are tough

2008-08-18T09:20:00.002-05:00

Hello. I've been out of the loop for a while now. But I have an excuse. My life is just not going as planned. Not that it has ever gone as plan per say, but things are tough at the moment. My relationship is very bad now... Fernando has been acting like a young teen, he values his friends more than his family, and so on... My truck broke down on me like a week and a half ago... repairs = $1,800, I have no money for anything... my mortgage went up by $600 in the last 3 months, I haven't paid my bills, I just don't know what's going on... and what's going to happen. The saying is true though, when it rains it pours, and it's pouring on me now. But the good thing is that I believe I can only go up from here. I do thank God for Adrian's health, my family's health, my health... But selfishly, I want more than just health, I know that must sound bad, but I need a relief! I want to enjoy life and at the moment, I can't. I don't stop thinking of what's wrong with my life and ways to try to improve my situation. Unfortunately, my relationship at the moment isn't my main priority, I guess I can deal with that once I'm out of this "hole" I feel I'm in.... Sorry, just needed to vent out a bit....

on and on....

2008-07-16T09:24:00.003-05:00

Although, I thank God for MANY, MANY, things, I always wait for one day when.... I have money, or one day when.... I have more time, or one day when... the weather is better. What I'm trying to say is, that I'm always waiting for true happiness. Don't get me wrong, I am in general a very happy, optimistic person. I love my son, my family, my friends, pets, etc., but I know that "something's gotta give", you know? I feel that I'm constantly waiting for my life to take a positive change. Money wise, I have a good job, thank God, pays the bills, but I want to be able to STOP living paycheck by paycheck. I love my partner, but I'm always wishing that he grows up and appreciates Adrian and me more.... things like that. I feel myself getting older and that scares me, my YOUNG days are flying by and I don't find myself really enjoying them. The worse part of all this is that I don't know what to do about it....For now, I enjoy what I have as much as possible, including my boy, although sometimes I wish I spent more "quality" time with him...

Just for fun...

2008-07-02T11:18:00.002-05:00

Because I know he's growing fast and next time I take a picture of him in the shower, he probably won't be smiling about it! I love my boy!

My Familia

2008-06-26T10:49:00.001-05:00

I love my family!We had so much fun taking these pictures:

The pic. is too small to see everyone!

Everything good comes to an end...

2008-06-23T11:35:00.000-05:00

I'm sad!!!! My brother left yesterday and I miss him a lot! I fell that when he' s here, our family is a whole again... we are very close and I had SUCH a good time. We went to Wisconsin Dells, we did so much, we went out partying, etc. Had a blast... but everything always comes to an end and now I'm at work wishing it was last week!

I'm excited!

2008-06-10T10:20:00.001-05:00

My brother, Alex, and his wife and son are coming to visit us from LA. They arrive this Saturday and we'll be going off to Wisconsin Dells and having so much freakn fun!!!!

Why is time flying??

2008-05-27T14:59:00.002-05:00

In regards to Adrian! I wish I could keep him young and so lovable! I already miss him! I can't believe he will soon be out of first grade and onto second! I want time to freeze for a bit. Enjoy him to the fullest. Every night when I kiss him good night, I make sure I take an extra kiss, an extra smell, an extra smile with those missing teeth! he's been such a perfect son to me, a perfect compliment to me, that it makes it hard for me to think of life when he's no longer this ADORABLE little boy that makes me proud!

More Pictures

2008-05-08T10:13:00.008-05:00

We went to a party at my brother's Penthouse in Downtown, it was very nice time!

Gina (my Sister), Gus (my brother) and me:

My Dad, Gina's Husband, Gina, Fer, me, Gus's Partner and Gus:

Fer kissing me:

Fer:

Me:

It's been a while

2008-05-07T10:28:00.007-05:00

I've been very busy here at work, but here are some pictures.. Fer's b-day was April 27th and some other goofy pics.

At dinner- Fer's B-day:

Adrian making faces - as always:
Fer and me (or I):

We had a good time...

I got a virus!

2008-04-16T14:11:00.002-05:00

Well, not ME so to speak, but my computer did... And I blame it on Myspace.. well, I think, who knows? but I was out of a computer for the last 3 work days, that was deadly! Can you imagine? Why even show up to work? The funny thing is that I think I am now addicted to Myspace which will make it impossible for me to check my page daily. I hope my computer doesn't get another virus, last one I got was pretty bad! But my computer is back! What a relief!!! BTW, it's finally hitting the 60's here in Chicago and I'm feeling great!!!! It's so nice to be able to enjoy some sun in my lunch time! Love it! AND, I am also going tanning.. Started today, I just do it like 4 to 5 times in a month and that's it for the whole year... so I think I burned today!!!! yep....

So..

2008-04-07T16:08:00.002-05:00

After a long weekend and very numerous long talks, Fer and I are back to talking terms... Why do guys have to be so complicated? I wish I was just strong enought not to love any! - well, just stick with my little guy Adrian, of course... But I hope some of the craziness in my life calms down, because I'm starting to think I am in IMMEDIATE need of a shrink! Hope everything starts to clear up for me!

I've been sad...

2008-04-02T12:14:00.002-05:00

Why? Not a ONE big reason, but many little ones I guess. It is just not a good time for me....

Myspace??

2008-03-27T10:13:00.002-05:00

So, although I don't like the whole "Myspace" Idea, most of my friends and brother have an account and it seems that that is the way to communicate with them. I just got an account in Myspace, although I haven't told anyone, it's still under construction, but I feel a bit embarrassed. After criticizing it so much, now I join? that sucks, doesn't it? But I just want to able to go in there and view all of my friends' pictures, for some reason you have to be their "friend" on myspace to view them. So, we'll see if I go through with it or just ditch it all together and move on...

Weekend

2008-03-24T11:48:00.006-05:00

Was fun. Since I don't have a camera, I can't show you pictures of the party we went to on Saturday - Star Wars party, pretty fun, but no pictures! I REALLY need a camera!!! Easter was nice too! We got together at my sister's house and it was a nice relaxing time! Here are some pictures of that (no pictures of Adrian - he was too busy playing with his cousins!)

Fer and I:Gus and I:

Julia, Gus and I:

The siblings, missing Alex ;(

With Mom:

I had been away...

2008-03-13T10:08:00.002-05:00

At the hospital with my little one. It all started with a bad fever for a while and a bad diagnosis of ear infections... after the antibiotics didn't work, I took my baby back to his doctor with a bad fever on Saturday and he was admitted to the hospital. He had a severe Sinus infection (all 6 sinus's) and a Pnemonia. The only way this was known was through xrays and CAT scans. I'm glad that he's better and he's home now. He's the only thing I have to look forward to and couldn't imagine anything REAL bad happening to him. I thank God he's doing well!!! Since Adrian was born prematuraly, he doesn't have the immune system that most kids do, and that always worries me as well. For now, he's good, he's stable and he's home and I'm tired but happy!! I stayed with him in the hospital for 4 1/2 days and slept poorly if at all and didn't change from my jeans and shirt, needless to say, I was ready to come home with my baby!

Here's a picture of him while in the hosital:

I'm happy...

2008-03-05T15:57:00.002-06:00

Why? 'Cause my mom is driving back with my brother from Mexico after a long time! Well, more than 3 weeks and to me, that's a very long time and I hope to be able to see them today. I miss them so much. I'm such a baby I think... I don't know but I want to be able to see my mom on a daily basis if I chose to. Weird, I know. But I also miss my brother! We are so close and I really miss him and I'm happy he's coming home!!! That's all for now. Oh, yeah, the weather over here still sucks and we're suppose to have another snow storm tonight.

My brother Gus sent me this picture to prove that indeed, they are on their way back... this is my mom driving her car.

The funny thing is that she has her eyes closed! Good luck Gus!

Things on my mind

2008-02-26T13:25:00.002-06:00

There are definitely many things on my mind - all the time! but there's something on my mind and I don't know how to even think of it.... I grew up in Mexico, and my parents still have that house... that house that I loved and still love now. but that house that we learned to love and respect had been occupied by my uncle for 17 years and is now destroyed. My mom and brother are currently in Mexico, it's their third week over there trying to solve this situation. they had to get my uncle out, it ended in a bad way and then try to "re-build" that house, he destroyed. That house is beyond beautiful, it was our pride. I remember coming home from school and the bus would drop me off in the front of my house and I was always so proud to live there, I loved it! I still do. I guess I feel nostalgia when I think of it, maybe I feel a bit desperate because I know I never wanted to leave that life and I had to. I don't even know what I know.... I'm confused and it's hard to try and explain this feeling... I know it's just a house, not even my house, but the memories are endless.... and there's not a day that goes by when I wish I was 4 again, and I guess that when I think of that house, it brings back the best of memories....

Valentine's Day

2008-02-14T09:05:00.003-06:00

Happy Valentine's day everybody! We don't really celebrate it, but Adrian likes to give little cards with candy out.

I was asking him yesterday who his Valentine was, he was shy about the question and said no one - of course... I know there's a little girl in his class that is so cute, so I asked him if it was Halley, he said "no mom, of course not, how is she going to be my Valentine if I don't even know what's in her heart and her feelings?" Well, at least Adrian really knows what it's all about!

A conversation with my little one...

2008-02-13T11:31:00.002-06:00

So, Adrian and I were talking... He wanted to know if I was sick when I was born too - since he was so sick. I told him that I was born healthy and that yes, he was very sick when he was born. He then continued telling me that he is thankful that God gave him the opportunity to live and that now he's a healthy boy. It almost brought tears to my eyes to hear him say that. How cute! I told him that he has to make the best out of his life, he said - I will, because I fought so hard to be here! He wanted to see the pictures of him when he was born, and as I showed him, with tubes all over his little body, he said that although he can't remember the pain, he feels it and that he is lucky that I was there next to him. I'm lucky to have him!

COLD!!!!!

2008-02-12T11:44:00.000-06:00

That's what it is in Chicago!!!! It's been so damn cold!!!!!!! Seriously!!!! why???????? Today the weather is nice 20 degrees... that's nice for us, can you believe it? It was -10 yesterday and if you add the windchill factor it was like -30!!! So cold... I keep on imagining the homeless and how about the dogs that live outside, those owners should be put in jail and execute them!!! Ok - random thought!!

Back...

2008-02-05T10:42:00.000-06:00

Well, I'm back. And I feel better in regards of how I had been feeling lately.... I bought the truck I've always wanted and that made me happy! I know that this year I was going to be more about myself and I had 3 things in mind that I wanted to do... buying my truck was number one! The next thing I will let you know once that's been done too... I don't want to jinx myslf! I went to Memphis this weekend, came back last night and we drove through a snow storm and well, that was pretty freaky, but thank God, my truck came through and we were real safe.. there were many cars flipped over! Scarry.... Fernando and I are doing better, I hope it's not temporay! The weather sucks... well, at least it's not too cold today, but last week was brutal! Very cold! Today is not so bad, although we are having another snow storm today that should last until tomorrow morning!
Hope you all are having a great day and great week!

10 year itch?

2008-01-17T10:18:00.000-06:00

I know there's the so called 7 year itch, but have you ever heard of a 10 year itch? Well, that's what Fernando and I are going through right now. in 7 days it will be our 10th year together and we are really going through some tough times. It seems to be the same as the so called "7 year itch" but we are going through it now. It sucks. We argue about the most stupid things and we no longer have that trust and friendship it seems. Why? What happened? I can't pin point it, but it's bad. I really want to work on our relationship, but it's hard. We have our good moments but it seems as if we are just tired! I know I think he is to blame, but we both need to make an improvement if we want to continue. Hopefully it's just temporary but I want this to stop already! i hate arguing over stupid things and big things, I just don't want to deal with this anymore. I wanted to plan a get away for us, but then again... I no longer know what to do.... Hopefully we can get through this!

Starting out the New Year....

2008-01-09T08:39:00.000-06:00

I have a couple of New Year's resolutions, which if I wasn't so superstitious, I would tell you abou them, but for some reason I think that if I say them, they won't come true! I can say that this year I want to take better care of myself! I feel that I've let myself down a bit and that I no longer care of myself the way I once did. I know that being a mom makes you less selfish, but I no longer know who I am, what I like and I don't remember the last time I went out on my own. I think of my life and I think it's boring, I hate that! When will it change? Hopefully I will change that! Anyway, the New Year's celebration went great, we had a lot of fun! I hope you all had a great time and that the Year is starting out great for everyone!

2007-12-28T09:56:00.000-06:00

Wow, so many days have past... Merry Xmas to all of you! I hope you had a great time with all your loved ones! I did! We had a lot of fun at my sister's house on Xmas eve and we visited Fernando's family on Xmas day! That works so much better than trying to split Xmas eve into two! We are having New Year's eve party at our place, so that should be interesting! We selfishly don't like having many people over because of all the mess and it seems that the house never gets to fully recuperate, you know? Maybe I'm just weird.. but I'm happy to do it at our place again this year. We had it there last year and we had a blast.
By the way.... I dyed my hair again!!!! and it looks sort of weird... I went blond again, but in between it went to orange since my hair was red then I bleached it... So I had to dye it twice in one day! Now it's better... It's pretty light though and I'm still getting used to it... I know that as soon as I get used to it I'll change color! I love changing my hair though... I wish I could just leave it alone, but I get into moods and the first thing I change is my hair, either hair cut or dye or both!

well, hope all of you have a SAFE and happy New Year!!!! Wish you and your families the best!

So, it's been a while....

2007-12-03T14:06:00.000-06:00

And I don't have much to say.... other that we went to a party last weekend and it was so much fun! It was for Fernando's cousin 15th birthday, we call them "Quinceañera", we had a blast!!!! Open bar!!!

This is my little family!

This is after some drinks! We had a good time!

With the girls... (look at the guy in the background!)

My friend Nina and I..

More randomness....

2007-11-16T09:48:00.001-06:00

It's Rover's Birthday today, he's 2!!!!!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday Rover!

AND.... it was MY birthday on Monday, the 12th. (but not pictures of that event!)

Random pictures:

Adrian and I on 3rd street Promenade, California.

My niece Evy and my brother Gus in Venice Beach.

Mom and Dad playing Foosball.

This is where I spent most of my childhood weekends.. Puerto Vallarta. My parent's house is still there and growing!

I've been swamped!

2007-11-05T14:53:00.001-06:00

Here at work! I've been so busy, I've had no time for personal stuff! I can't belive it, it's been a very stressful couple of weeks here... But everything is fine, my b-day is coming up next week!

Here are some random picutes from Adrian's Bday:

Adrian's B-day: Fer, Adrian and I:

There's nothing like Chuckie Cheese Pizza!

Problems

2007-10-19T10:15:00.000-05:00

I've always asked myself why I let small issues became big, as far as Fernando goes. I mean, we can argue about the smallest things and they became big... why? Well, because neither of us give in and it becomes a battle... That's pretty sad. Then, when we do get better, I still feel like I can't let it go because it really didn't get resolved... I don't know why I'm this way, I wish I didn't let things bother me. Although I'm pretty mellow about things, I'm calm and try to talk about things, Fer is not... he tries to not talk about any issues and he keeps them to himself so by the time I FORCE him to talk, it's bad. Just wished relationships were easier!!!!!

My boy's birthday

2007-10-10T10:23:00.000-05:00

Was on Monday, October 8th. I can't believe time is going by so fast... It seems as if just yesterday I posted about his birthday last year! Wow. Well, we had much fun. We took him to breakfast, and then we had a little party at Chuck E Cheese. He was very happy and he had a blast. We got him the R2D2 Robot he's been wanting and he loved it, although, I must admit, I loved it even more! He did great and I am already missing my boy! I hold him tight every day and I kiss him numerous times, I just don't want time to fly by anymore, I want to enjoy him the most possible. He turned 7! Next thing I know he'll be a teen and he won't be looking forward for me to get home and kiss him, he won't be hoping I can stay in bed with him for a bit at night, he will just want to be with his friends and that thought just kills me! So, for now, all I can do is tell him how much I adore him and want him to be happy!

I'm back

2007-10-04T11:15:00.000-05:00

Everything was fun, I had a great time and I got to spend a lot of time with the family, which is always good. My brother Alex and I got a chance to hang out and that was great. Here are only some pictures, I will post more later. We also went to Disneyland, which was pretty fun.

This one is outside of church. Adrian and I.

The kids... Tori, Greggie, Kyle, Adrian and Julia.

Mom and Dad

Julia!
My Brother Alex - the groom. At the reception... Adrian and I dancing... I'm wearing Adrian's tie.

Kids Dancing...

Overall, everything went well... I had much fun and now it's time to work. I'll post more pictures soon!

California

2007-09-20T10:46:00.000-05:00

Here I come.... And I don't even really know how I'll get there. So, my brother's wedding is the 29 of this month... 9 days. I just got the bride's maid dress yesterday and of course I still have to make alterations to it. How am I getting to LA? Well, driving, I think... Not sure yet, I might flight, depending on the prices. I leave Wedneday... Should be fun. I promise to take pictures and share. I'll admit, I don't like the dress I'll be wearing, but I have 0% control in it!

Here's a story for you...

2007-09-13T12:58:00.000-05:00

So Adrian comes home from school the other day with a big line-looking, hole on his shirt... (his pink Ralph Lauren Polo). So, I asked him what happened... (the hole was big, like 2 inches in his stomach), he tells me that he fell and that's how it happened... so we go back and forth with me questioning how if he fell, how he didn't dirty his shirt, and the hole was so perfect (as if it was cut with scissors)... After he realized that I wasn't buying the whole story about him falling... He sits and looks at me and tells me that as he was in line in school (don't know what line), that a big kid, like 10 years old and other kids where behind him and the one kid told Adrian that only gay people wear pink... CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???? SO... Adrian just looked down and as soon as he got back to class, he got his scissors and cut his shirt, that way, I wouldn't make him wear it again. Although I understand Adrian's reason behind cutting it, I was SUPER upset at the fact that some RETARDED, no-fashion knowing little bastard was bulling my son.... So, I explained to Adrian that wearing pink shirts doesn't make him gay (that's after I had to tell him what Gay means), that as a matter a fact, his dad wears pink polo's and he's not gay... he just likes fashion, just like him. I went on TRYING to explain to my 6 year old that some kids are just brought out in a real bad way and that their parents obviously have nothing better to do but raise these idiots of kids.
The good thing about MY son, is that he actually HAS a heart and he wouldn't try and make kids feel bad and he wouldn't talk all that nonsense, because I don't teach him that. And, he understood; unfortunately, for now, Adrian won't be wearing pink polo's to school, but he will continue to be who he is.
I just can't believe how kids are brought up sometimes... really.

Open House

2007-09-07T10:23:00.000-05:00

at Adrian's school was yesterday. It went well actually and the teacher was nice (that's always a plus)... BUT the parents are horrible... yeah, those moms??? I am not making this up to be worst than what it is, but they stare and give bad looks to me as if I was an evil person... Seriously, next time I'm going to wear like a real short and tight dress or something to that extent, to really give them something to talk about!!! I just look at them and smile! Anyway, it was nice, Adrian showed me around his classroom and school and he seemed so proud, just like me!

Weekend

2007-09-04T14:00:00.001-05:00

My weekend was nice, I hope everyone had a nice LONG, relaxing weekend. I was just thinking though how I no longer really go out anymore. Since a while back, it's been more just like we stay home and chill... How boring, right? maybe since we stoped hanging out with Fernando's cousins and friends... maybe? but I don't mind it. It used to be cool and all, but Fer and I would always get into arguments, and it was just not worth it. We were hanging with the wrong crowd... so I'd rather do nothing than that. Sunday we went to a concert with my family and then Monday was my mom's b-day so my sister has a cookout and that was fun.
Other than that, my brother's weeding is quickly approaching (sept. 29th) and I still haven't gone to get me the bride maid's dress! or the airplane tickets! What wrong with me!!!?

Teachers

2007-08-29T13:42:00.000-05:00

I just have to post about this...
So, being a young mom, I get a different treatment from teachers. And throughout the year, it seems to have gotten worse! So, I'm 25 and Adrian is 6 almost 7 and since he was 3 and in Pre-school, his teachers wouldn't take me seriously! So, I know I look younger, maybe 18 or 19? But I'm not! So, what if I was anyway? I'm taking care of my child and I want to be INVOLVED with his education and I feel almost BAD about asking the teacher anything. I feel that they automatically judge me for being so young and that sucks! When I've gone to like mother's day celebrations or open house or whatever, I even see other moms like starring at me... Yeah, ladies that look like MY mom, starring at me, no offence to those of you who are older with little ones... but why do THEY get to judge... you know? They're like 50 with their 5 year old and that's fine by me, but don't look at me like I'M weird... Okay, this just became like a bitching session for me but I needed to get that out of the way. I feel better now.
So far, this year's teacher doesn't seem so critical as the past ones...

Nothing new...

2007-08-28T12:30:00.000-05:00

in my life. Just work and that's it! I wish I was rich, specially when I have a migrane and have to be at work with reports!

Adrian started school

2007-08-23T09:58:00.000-05:00

yesterday.... My boy is now in 1st grade.... Time has FLOWN by, it's real hard to let go, I'm sure most of you know the pain! But I'm glad for him. Yesterday, I walked him to his desk and he gave me a big hug and kiss and asked me not to cry! Can you believe it, he asked me not to cry! he said he would be fine and that I would be fine. What do you know, he was right?! I was fine! I felt my heart hurting, but it was a good pain, I guess to see your baby grown up!

On another note, we took Rover to a Dog parade this Saturday, and they took this picture of Rover and Adrian:

Family

2007-08-16T15:57:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure if I have ever said this before, but I'm very close with my family... I have 2 older sisters, Rosie and Gina and then 2 older brothers, Alex and Gus. My mom and dad are married but have been split up for 5 years now. I really love my family, they are the foundation of who I am, I love the fact that we grew up so close and that mom and dad gave me so much affection and morals... We've alwasy been very close, I see my sisters and brother very often, twice a week, maybe, also my parents... My siblings are my best friends and I could never ask for a better pack of friends!

Here's a picture of my family - without Alex since he lives in L.A.

From left to right: Rosie, Gina, Dad, Mom, me and Gus

Here's one of Gus and Alex when they were kids:the oldest one is Alex and of course we were at the beach where I spent 1/2 of my childhood on vacations! Those were the good ol' days!

And here are my sisters:

Cheers!

This is my mom at the beach in Mexico like 2 years ago:

This is Gus in the beach: (I told you we love the beach)

And of course, this is me:

Adrian's back!

2007-08-13T09:54:00.000-05:00

We picked him up after work on Friday and we were both so happy to see each other! He seemed pretty sentimental and cute! He kept telling me that he thought of me every night and that he missed him! I am spoiling him a lot I can tell, but I really don't mind. We all went to Medieval times http://www.medievaltimes.com/index2.htm with my sister's kids and mom, so it was fun and yesterday we took him to a couty fair and we had much fun. It's so nice to have him back home! Last night he spent the night with my mom... I'll be picking him up after work. Hope you all enjoyed your weekend!!

Adrian's gone...

2007-08-06T15:57:00.000-05:00

For this week! Yeah, my MIL went back home yesterday and took him with her. That way she can watch him this week and we can pick him up on Friday. I can't believe I already miss him so much, I didn't want him to go, but at least he can play with his cousin who's a year older than him... besides, if he stayed home, he would have to wake up very early every morning so I can take him to my mom's house and then we always get back home so late, so it's pretty stressful. It's so funny how a boy can just make your world turn the way Adrian does mine! I miss him but I hope he's having fun! He left happy and told me he would be calling me. I mean, my MIL lives like 2 hours away (that's already including traffic), so in case of anything, I can always pick him up by Wednesday...

School

2007-08-01T09:54:00.000-05:00

I made the decision to go back to school. Well, that "decision" was always there, but I really have to move on with that. I've been going to school since 99, right out of high school... come one, I should be a feakin doctor by now, right? Well NO. I take breaks... yeah, like I had a baby, let me take a 2 year break... I'm over worked, let me take a 1 year break... I moved, let me take another year break... So, now it's time to go back and finish that Finance degree once and for all!!!! Okay, I'm dreading the whole thing because my job is stressful at times but I do need my Finance degree to continue moving up in the company. But it sucks! I used to LOVE school... totally loved it... weird right? well now, I dread it... why? because I can't afford to do bad in it and that thought stresses me out... Plus I have so many other priorities now... Like my son, my home, my family, MY JOB!.... Hopefully everything will be fine... I've already done the school and work and mom and it's been not so bad. So, I'll keep you posted... I'm suppose to start like the first week of September, but I haven't registered yet... so I figured that if I write about it, then I actually have to make it happen, or so I think?!

Random..

2007-07-30T10:17:00.000-05:00

So, there's not much to write about these days.... Let's see, my MIL is still with us, she's been okay, she's behaved so far, so that's a good thing... Gets on my nerves a bit when she gets too nosy, etc. My dog Laika turned 4 on Friday... and other than that, I have some random pictures to share.
So, those are all the kids that we traveled with to Wisconsin Dells... 8! One is mine, the one with the orange polo and green crocs... the rest are neices and nephews! I can't believe we survived those terrors!

And those are my boys! Adrian playing rough with Rover - who's by the way only 1!!

And don't you just love sitting around the table talking nonsense? We do... here's my dad in the middle of what looks like a conversation and Alex and I possing for the camera.... cheese!!

Just a picture of my brother Alex and I....

2007-07-25T16:14:00.001-05:00

This is the brother that I miss so much. Alex. (don't mind me, I'm not wearing make-up1)

So...

2007-07-18T15:26:00.000-05:00

My mother in law has been staying with us since Friday... And her mom. So Fer's mom and Grandma... I love the grandma... the mom is not so bad... BUT.... can get tiring in the next month.
This happens every year.. my mil lives with my SIL, but my SIL works in a school and has every summer off, luckily, this year she worked summer school, her last day being last Friday, that's when my MIL comes with us. So, she stays the rest of the summer with us. Why? Well, to pamper her boy of course, and she is also helping out with Adrian, although it's a big price to pay. So, so far, it's not so bad... but I'll keep you posted...

Everything Good comes to an end...

2007-07-02T14:59:00.001-05:00

Soon. I had a BLAST with my brother being here, we had so much fun. Wisconsin Dells was so fun and everything we did, we enjoyed it to the max, I loved it! We've always been so close and he's the only one who lives far away so it was awesome having the gang of 5 back! I felt so happy having all of us together again, plus my brother is just so fun and we get along just great. Now I miss him, they left on Saturday and I already miss him... I feel that we are not complete without him but I'm seeing him in September, that should be fun! We're going to California for his wedding... I'm looking forward to that. I also got to spend time with his wife and son, that was fun, Veronica, his wife, is a very fun girl and adjusted quickly to our jokes, two thumbs up for that! Well, other than that, I'm looking for another day off, on Wednesday!!!! YES!!! I hope you all had a great weekend.

Excited

2007-06-20T11:54:00.000-05:00

I have a brother Alex, who lives in California whom I haven't seen in like 3 years and he's coming to visit, he gets her on Saturday and I'm super excited. He's coming with his wife and kid, I haven't met his wife yet (he got married last year), the religious wedding is in September and I'm going then. And he's bringing his 6 year old son Greg (from previous marriage) whom I miss, I haven't seen him in a long time. Then Sunday is the Gay pride parade here in Chicago, and like every year for 5 years, I'm attending it with my brother Gus, who is of course Gay. Then afterwards we are all driving to Wisconsin Dells - all 18 of us and we rented 2 villas and it will be fun. I will be back on Wednesday, being on and off here at work, since I'm sure we'll be going to watch the Cubs play during the week. So, this coming week should be full of fun!!!

Funny...

2007-06-19T08:43:00.001-05:00

You know those songs that just make you want to sing along? Those that make you believe that you can dance and better yet, you can sing, and very good!? (even if you suck at singing?) Well, I have many of those songs, but there's a particular one that just makes me want to go crazy, it's a spanish one. Okay, well, my commute on the train is 1 hour and 20 minutes so I listen to my Ipod, mistake #1... Have an Ipod on while on the quiet train... mistake #2, have that one song on my Ipod.... Mistake #3... sing along!!! Can you believe it? It happened this morning, I guess I totally forgot I was on the train, next thing I know, I'm singing out loud! How embarrasing!!!! I can't believe the things I do sometimes... Oh well! but still, how embarrasing!!!! Funny too!

Summer...

2007-06-18T14:04:00.000-05:00

Is here! Yes, it's freak'n warm here and I'm loving it. Although I'm more of a 70 degrees type of person, after this past winter, I'll take the 100 degree weather and appreciate it! Yesterday was very fun, by the way, Happy Father's Day to those dad's out there. We spent it at my sisters house and we had a water balloon fight! I had so much fun, ended up SOAKED! Beyond wet, but how fun!!!! I was fighting all the little kids, Adrian included and I had a blast! Good thing I was wearing short shorts and a tank top - I went prepared! Anyway, I'm liking this weather and I hope you all had fun this weekend.

to have or not to have...

2007-06-12T09:55:00.000-05:00

More kids that is.... That's a great question... Now that Adrian's older, I'm older and we're a bit better off financially, I start asking myself that question... Fernando has always wanted to have more kids, but respects my decision when I tell him that either I'm not ready, he's not ready, who's going to watch him, maybe we should just stay with Adrian as a single child. But that sounds so lonely...doesn't it? Then it's funny because sometimes out of nowhere Adrian will come and tell me that when I die and his dad dies then he'll be alone, that he would like a brother... I tell him not to worry about that stuff, but the boy has a point. I come from a pretty big family, I have 2 sister and 2 brothers and I am very close with all of them, so I would like him to know the love of a sibling... but am I ready? Will I ever be? Another point to consider is that my mother in law keeps telling me to have more, and THEN she tells me that she will move in with us so that she can watch the baby... WHAT?! do I want that? NO, but what other options would I have?!

So, he made it...

2007-06-07T13:51:00.000-05:00

Not that I would ever think that he couldn't make it, but why this fast! Yes, Adrian graduated Kindergarten on Tuesday!!!! Well, it wasn't so much as a "graduation", but he's last day of Kindergarten was officially Tuesday and he's off to 1st Grade... I held him so hard and told him how proud I was and always will be of him! I can't believe he's off to 1st grade... Why do they grow up so fast!? I can still remember when he was in the hospital ready to come home! I have enjoyed being his mom IMMENSELY, but why can't time just slow down a bit once I get home? I want to enjoy my baby more!!!! Well, summer vacation, here we come! Well at least for Adrian since I'll be working.... ;-(

The most beautiful Rainbow

2007-05-17T09:40:00.000-05:00

I came across this, maybe you've heard it before, but I like it a lot and think it's very true.
Enjoy..

The most beautiful rainbow As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin

Mother's day...

2007-05-14T11:38:00.000-05:00

I hope all mom's had a great mother's day. On Friday, Adrian had a little Mother's day "special" at school, of course I had to go!!! How could some one miss it. So, it was great!!!! I saw him so big, it was in his little class room and we had lunch and all the little kids looked so proud of what they had made for their mom's. Of course, I was needless to say, at a point of crying my eyes out, but didn't want to get my little guy all embarrassed. He sure does now how to make his mom feel loved! As far as I'm concerned, that has been my best mother's gift ever! Plus they sang for us - you are my sunshine! Imagine the torture! yes, of not being able to cry!!!! Well, that was strictly my choice since I didn't want him to worry or get a bit embarrassed! But I did let him know how great that made me feel! Having a son (or daughter I'm sure), is the best thing that could ever happen to a human being!

I'm back....

2007-04-30T14:32:00.001-05:00

From Florida. We had a great time! I can't complain about anything... everything went great! We had SO MUCH FUN.... all good things come to an end...

In the resort....

In Disney...Breakfast with Mickey....

Fer and I...

This weekend...

2007-04-16T08:28:00.000-05:00

I felt crazy and changed my look! I went to my stylist, who is also my friend, and chopped off my hair and dyed it blond again... Now, when I say I chopped off my hair, I mean it.... I cut 12 inches!!!!!! yep... my hair is real short and I like it. Must admit though that deep down I want to cry!!!!
Will post pictures soon!

It's SNOWING

2007-04-11T08:32:00.000-05:00

With ice that is! It's horrible... how many times have I mentioned weather so far? Many, I'm sure and I apologize if I sound like a recorder, but what is going on? It's super cold plus I wake up this morning to the outside being completely WHITE with snow and to top it off it's like a blizzard with snow and ice.

The only good part of this is that I KNOW I will enjoy my vacation in Florida in a week and a half - I'm so excited! Their weather is SURE going to be better than here!
Hope you all had a great Easter by the way.

Nothing really....

2007-04-05T09:25:00.000-05:00

Okay, so it's been a while since I didn't post anything. But do you ever get the feeling of not having anything to write about, yet there is SO MUCH going on around you? Well, I get like that often, and I hate that feeling. I guess it's hard to get personal, maybe that's it. Anyway, I hope everyone has a great Easter and warm weather... I know our weather is going to suck, like every single Easter I can remember... Chicago's weather is always so crazy, it's like upper 20's right now, last week it was in the 70's.... Seriously.... why?

Weather

2007-03-28T15:43:00.002-05:00

is actually getting better(or at least WAS GETTING BETTER)! Monday was a gorgeous day! It was in the mid 70's, and of course everyone was out and in the lake! I work at downtown not far from the lake and it was CROWDED.... It's funny how we are, we get some nice weather and we're out! Today, it's cold again... low 40's. When will this weather just normalize? I've been sick for the last 2 weeks because of this drastic weather changes.

Being a mom....

2007-03-21T10:08:00.000-05:00

Since the day Adrian was born, I knew I loved him; but never did I imagine that my love for him would grow SOOOOOOO much. I'm sure you all feel the same way or maybe not, who knows.... All I know is that I am obsessed with my son. I look at him and I find perfection, I find what love really means. I see his little arms, his face, his legs and I can't imagine when he's all grown and doesn't need me anymore. Like now, he waits all day to see me, for me to come home and give me a big hug and kiss and ask me: "so how was work?", I already miss that and I live it every day. I miss it because I know it will end and and I have no control over it. At night time when the last thing he tells me is tha the loves me and then he gives me his blessings, I can not ask for anything more! And to think that the day will come when he just doesn't look forward to me coming home and hiding and just running to my arms to tell me he missed me and that he loves me. Then again, I don't want to be that over protective mom that wifes hate, but how am I ever going to let go of my baby? I think that every mom has to do it, but I treasure each and every single kiss I get from him and every smile and "I love you"'s I hear.

Just wanted to share that since I'm sure many feel the same way and it just helps to get it out!
Thanks for listening!

Today...

2007-03-13T16:40:00.000-05:00

After work, my sister and I are going to see Sylvia Brown, she's the famous psychic that comes out in Oprah... do you know who she is? Well, I like reading her books and watching her on Oprah so Rosie, my sister got tickets to go see her today... I'm excited!
Oh yeah, and I'm also excited because I will be off tomorrow since I have to take both of my dogs to the vet - wish me luck on that one!

Daylight Savings....

2007-03-12T11:23:00.000-05:00

Sucks for me! I can't get used to it! Althought I know it's only been 2 days, so far, I don't like it. It feels that instead of waking up at 6 am I am waking up at 5 am. I am not a morning person, so this is bad. At least when I leave work today, it won't seem like night time!

Bet

2007-03-08T08:37:00.000-06:00

So, my sister, my brother-in-law, my mom, a friend and I are in a bet. A bet about who can loose 10 lbs in their case, and I would have to GAIN 10 lbs in a month. So, before you tell me how lucky I am to be thin, I am not lucky. I get migraine head aches very often, sometimes even once a week.... Every time I get one, I loose up to 8 lbs in one day! that's horrible... and I need to be at a healthier weight! So, wish me luck... I can ALWAYS gain back what I loose very quickly, but I can never go over my original weight and I am going to really try... The winner gets $100 bucks and the losers pay $25!!! Should be fun! I'll let you know how I'm doing. For now I will continue exercising, - muscle weight more, right?

I love...

2007-03-06T14:27:00.000-06:00

Gwen Stefani... and this is my favorite song: http://mp.aol.com/video.index.adp?mode=2&pmmsid=1360085 and video.

Just wanted to share that.

Relief

2007-02-23T11:50:00.000-06:00

Hello! It' s been a while... I guess I've been busy and just too distracted. I have good news... well, for me that is. First of all, Fer found a job! That's great, it takes off SO MUCH stress off of MY shoulders! It's so great that he's back to working... it was begining to get to the point that I could no longer take it. But I'm very happy for us, mainly, I'm happy for him since he needed a job, he needed a sense of security and just being out of the house. SO, congratulations to him and us! Next, we're going on vacation! Yepee! We're going to Orlando, we're going to stay in Old Key West resort in Disney, it's going to be great! I got a great offer.... see, my sister owns timeshare there and she's using her points to get a room for Fer, Adrian and I and she's going with her family and I don't have to pay for the stay, we're saving like $1,000 right there! Plus the airfare was so good! So, we're going from April 21 to April 27 (Fer's b-day), should be fun! I'm so looking forward to it, mainly because Adrian has been wanting to go for years now and it's his first time going! I'm very happy! THEN, in September, my brother is getting married, the one who lives in California, so we'll be going to California at the end of September! I'm excited! The only downside to this all is that I have to leave my dogs! No one wants to volunteer to watch them... can you blame them? I have two big beasts! But they are both so adorable! Any volunteers? Seriously, my bulldog is adorable and he'll kiss you till he runs out of breath!
I've asked my mother in law to stay by our house for 3 days in April and my brother will stay the other 2 days... I am now worried about September though! The pet canals are charging me like $50/day per dog! that's ridiculous, plus I know they would rather stay home.

One more point of relief... remember that I had said that my job was in danger of being eliminated? I met with the executive head of my department on Tuesday and she ASSURED me that I will not be affected, they are actually giving me a raise! I am happy to see that everything is fitting in place! FINALLY... (knock on wood!)

Snow Day

2007-02-13T09:14:00.000-06:00

So, it's official... the first Snow day of the year for schools. Adrian must be so happy! He didn't go to school yesterday because it was Lincoln's bday=no school and the week before we was sick all week with fever and the temperature was below zero, he didn't go to school. We was excited last night though that he was going back to school, he was taking his valentine gifts! That's sweet.

Anyway, I know it's snowing a lot but is it enough for a snow day? I mean, we are in Chicago and snow is pretty common... Maybe so. We are in a blizzard warning and it should snow up to 10 inches today, but I still have to come to work! Driving to the train station this morning was a task! My car was going everywhere although it has the winter tires now, but once it snows this much, the tires don't help much... I tell you, by the time I start work, I already went through an adventure! Well, now I have to look forward to getting off of work and "digging" my car out of the snow!

It's snowing

2007-02-12T08:52:00.000-06:00

And I'd rather have it that way. It's always warmer when it snows - at least. It sucks because I know that when I get to my car from the train, I will have to clean it, and I hate that... but at least my tears won't freeze! It's like 25 degrees, so I can't complain.

On Saturday, I went to my cousin's wedding and it was weird. It seemed like if no one wanted to be there. I know my cousin and his now wife were having issues, up to the morning of the wedding, but come one... My aunt wore BLACK, plus she cried through the wedding. And then, the reception was almost empty... I guess there weren't many people invited. I had a good time though, they had good music and open bar!

I just gotta say...

2007-02-08T09:41:00.000-06:00

IT'S SO FREAKING COLD HERE!!!!! Seriously, is this some sort of way of a punishment? It's horrible.. This morning, the radio said it was -11 degrees, without the windchill factor, then it's like 30 BELOW! Are they kidding me? Why? I take Metra to work and I walk from the station to work, IN DOWN TOWN, where of course it's freezing as well.... I walk like 4 blocks, but they seemed like miles this morning...
Just imagine, I usually wear my sun glasses so that my eyes don't get all watery, well, today, out of all days, I forget my glasses.... my eyes get watery and guess what? My tears froze!!! I actually came in to work laughing my ass off... at myself... I thought what else can I do!?

I'm back....

2007-02-05T11:37:00.000-06:00

Hi! I was out last week. I was in Mexico actually... my grandpa passed away last Sunday and we went to the funeral. it was sad, but it was something that had to come I guess. Now I'm back at work and busy!

While I was in Mexico, I realized that I really want to live there... I want to be back and LIVE there you know... I know many wouldn't understand why... but those are my roots, it's beyond BEAUTIFUL there and I miss it! I really do. Specially when it's 20 to 30 BELOW ZERO here in Chicago!!!!!

I guess...

2007-01-26T08:25:00.000-06:00

I am in love with my son! And I have the picture to prove it!

My sister took this picture and she showed it to me telling me that this picture really shows how much I love my boy... ( I can't even remember taking the picture!)

I am not good at this Blog thing...

2007-01-24T15:09:00.000-06:00

Even though I work with a computer all day and know many different softwares, etc... I can't get to work with this blog thing as I would like to. I mean, I see different blogs and people are real creative and stuff... I just can't. I can only do the basic stuff... But oh-well, I guess.

Today's my anniversary. Fer and I have been together for 9 years now! I tell you, time flies. But it's a weird anniversary... like we're not doing anything, which is odd; part of the reason is because we have no money and the other part I guess is that we've become too used to each other and maybe don't value our relationship as we should. Has this happened to you? Were you don't even know what to put on a card? I mean, writing, "I love you" becomes redundant and I just can't seem to write something from the heart... it seems fake... Help! I don't know what is going on with me??! Is it just me?

Time goes by so fast!

2007-01-18T08:27:00.000-06:00

I can't believe it's been almost a month since I've last posted. Nothing much is new. Adrian has been sick, the weather here in Chicago was beautiful for like 1 whole month but then reality kicked in last week and we've had our usual cold, sucky weather. That's why everyone's sick. Not only that, but we are so busy here at work! Oh, yeah, I fell on Wednesday! Going home, I got off the train and on my way to the car, I fell! It hurt so bad! I was on the ground crying! I had on a heavy jacket and all I felt was my elbow hurting, my hips, my knees! I had to drive home like that... When I get home, Fer sees me crying and we investigate, and when I take off my jacket, my elbow is bleeding A LOT and it's huge! I thought I had broken it, but it was just badly hurt, my hips were also scraped! and my knees bruised! All this and my pants didn't rip, or my jacket, weird right? Anyway, that's my big story... Nothing else has been going on... I feel better though. I was off last Thursday and Friday, since I felt injured and my whole entire body was aching, then we had Monday off, so that was great... Now back to work.

It's been a while

2007-01-04T13:39:00.000-06:00

Since I've last posted. Time can really fly by! and you don't even have to be having fun. I've been mostly away from work, vacation and time off, because of the holidays.... it's always hard to come back. Xmas was nice... and New Years we had a party at my house, it was fun. Back to the routine though. That sucks... my favorite month to be at work is December... there's always parties, plus you can bring your kids to work with you and they bring Santa and there's gifts and breakfast with him... I've brought Adrian with me since he was one. He really enjoyed the whole train ride and everything... the more he grows, the funner he gets! I hope everyone had great holidays and had fun and it was safe! This was just a quick update... gotta get back to work!

School concert

2006-12-19T15:18:00.000-06:00

Yesterday Adrian had a school concert... It was his 5 minutes of fame... But he was so adorable! He seemed so proud and sang louder than the rest.... I saw him more beautiful than ever! I loved him more than ever... Why? I don't know exactly why, but seeing him up there made me so proud of the little man I've raised and adore so much. When I picked him up, he asked: "So, did I make you proud mama?", I told him that he's been making me proud since the day he was born, then he added: "I will never let you down".... Can you believe that? How can a 6 year old know about letting downs... He has such a big heart... Then he thanked me for going, he said "it's sad when parents don't come... " Apparently one of his little friend's parents didn't show up. Anyway, seeing him up there yesterday just reminded me of how old he is now and how much I adore him and don't want to let go... It's hard.

Finally finished decorating...

2006-12-11T09:38:00.000-06:00

The tree that is. We bought our Xmas tree on Tuesday of last week, left it alone so it could fully expand and decorated it on Friday... It looks so nice; I think it is our nicest tree yet! By the time we started decorating it though, it has a couple of branches from the bottom missing, yes, I believe our bulldog had a stab at it and failed after realizing that it wasn't too fun to play around with something that pokes you! Okay, and also, I have done some Xmas shopping too, I have our grab bag gifts, and the kids gifts, my mom and dad's and my brothers... I need Adrian - I was going to get him that R2D2 robot toy, but they're sold out!!!!!! I can't believe it.. Really I wanted it more than he did, which in the end is a good thing, that way if I can't find it anywhere he won't be SO disappointed. Can't help but remember when I was little and Xmas was the best magical thing there was... I remember being amazed at how Santa knew me so well and thinking that being a good girl did pay off at the end! I still have to buy a gift for Fernando too.... He want shoes... I better go shopping on my own!

Some bad news...

2006-12-04T11:42:00.001-06:00

Well, not terribly bad, but bad enough for me! On Friday, as I was helping my boss clean the his office, I ran into some paperwork that seemed rather interesting... It had some writing about the company that I work for (Harris Bank) laying people off.... So my boss told me that my position is in danger. Although he didn't want to say anything yet, it seems that Harris Bank is going through downsizing... Letting 250 plus employees go. He says that it's not for sure that my position will be eliminated, but that it's a probable possibility! Although I didn't want to freak out in front of him, we joked around for a bit and then I went home... All weekend I've had this feeling in my stomach and it just doesn't feel good. I've been working for the bank for close to 6 years now and I like my job... Also, Fernando has been out of a job for a while and my job is the only source of income and I just bought my home! I do feel a bit in panic, but want to see it rather with better sense. I mean, I'm sure that with my experience and knowledge I can find another decent job, but the "what if's" aren't helping. I did tell Fernando that he HAS to get a job, no excuses, I'm so overwhelmed... Have been so overwhelmed for a while now but now that I know that my job is on the line, I feel scared! I will not know for a while as to what exactly is going to happen... I hope for the best!

I just realized...

2006-11-30T11:33:00.000-06:00

That I do not have any pictures of me while I was pregnant. I can't help but feel guilty, in a way sort of deprived... I can't even explain it. Okay... when I got pregnant, I was still living at home, 18 years old and a freshman in college... I wasn't proud of it, my family either, of course. So, I moved in with Fernando and I never felt as if I could be happy about being pregnant... that makes me feel so guilty! Adrian was born premature also, 29 weeks, so I never had a babyshower so no pictures - again! there's nothing I can do now, but I feel bad! As if I should of enjoyed that part of my life, but I was too busy feeling that I had done something wrong and overwhelmed with school and work and just trying to figure out what was going on... Although I have pictures of the day Adrian was born, I looked like shit, of course, what mom doesn't after being in labor and having a baby, right? And once again, I don't look happy in those pictures either. Don't get me wrong now, I loved Adrian since the moment I saw him, but he was SOOOOO sick, he wasn't breathing and he had a 75% chance of dying! So I was worried for my baby most of all.... I just hope that one day Adrian doesn't see all these little details and think that he wasn't wanted... he was... he was my best surprise every! Sorry if I just started rambling.... I just had this feeling inside me and wanted to vent off a bit... Okay, now I'm done.

Decorations...

2006-11-28T15:01:00.000-06:00

I've always been a fan of having a real tree for Christmas, I just couldn't get myself to put up a fake one.... Maybe because I love how my house smells with a tree, or maybe because I'm ridiculous like that! ;-) but anyway, since I like real trees, that means that I have to wait at least one more week to get my tree... Why? Well because if I get it now, it will be DEAD by Christmas with all the ornaments falling out of it. SO... Seeing how everyone around me is DONE putting up their decorations, makes me feel, again, as a procrastinator! Which I am. But it sucks, you know, even with Xmas decorations? Come on! Also, I haven't started Christmas shopping, I wait until the last minute... There I've confessed! That's just the way I work though, weird, I have to get into that Xmas mode and it comes late for me... I don't even have the excuse that I have warm weather, therefore it doesn't feel like Xmas, NO, come on, I live in freakin Chicago, where the weather sucks and it's cold already. I make no excuses for myself.... But, I will try to go home today and dig through the boxes in my underground (yes, I moved back in May and I have some boxes there, but it's only like decorations and stuff we don't use often), and get some lights out and start decorating the outside! Maybe then I'll feel better.

On a side note... My doggie, Laika is in heat.. (sorry for being blunt) and my doggie Rover, is a male... Well, I haven't been watching them, and now I'm paranoid thinking that Laika might be pregnant! Imagine... What will I do? First of all, I don't want Laika to suffer with pain and I don't know what I will do with Shar Pei/English Bulldog puppies running around! I should of taken Laika to the Vet when I had the change to Spay her! Now I have to wait and see what happens... This actually keeps me up at night! Like I said, I'm weird!

That's a picture of me with Laika!

THANKSGIVING

2006-11-22T14:59:00.000-06:00

So, Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate it. We will be spending the day with my family. We are all going to my sister's Gina, house. Should be fun, the kids always like to be together. I'm off on Friday too! So, should be a fun week! Wish you all the best!

My birthday was...

2006-11-15T11:42:00.000-06:00

Pretty fun! On Friday we had a party at our place... Fernando fixed up the garage real cool... He's a d.j. so he had his lights, fog machine, you name it! A little dance floor even.. Pretty neat. We had a lot of fun, the party ended at 5 am. good times! Adrian stayed over my mom's so that was good. I took lots of pictures, but because it was dark and the fog machine, well, they didn't come out so good.... Sunday was my birthday and I had family over for dinner, that was nice as well... Here are some pictures!

This is me dancing!!

This is on Sunday... Happy birthday to me...

Time goes by sooooooooo fast.... I remember being Adrian's age!!!

Party Anyone?

2006-11-08T13:43:00.000-06:00

My birthday is coming up... November 12th. So, I was sitting in my living room last Sunday drinking a Piña Colada when I thought it would be a good idea to have some friends over for drinks on Friday and have a good time. I communicate the thought to Fer and of course my brother (who is like my best friend.. come one, he's gay and he's great!), and all of a sudden I get an evite that my brother Gus sent, inviting like 40 people! I didn't mean to have that sort of party, but, that's not such a bad idea, right? I mean it is the big 25!!! Okay, well, it's this Friday, at my place in case anyone wants to join!!! Wish me fun!! I'll post pictures, before and after!

Why is it...

2006-11-07T10:59:00.000-06:00

that I can take a compliment better from a total stranger that I do from my partner? Is it just me?! I even feel sort of guilty talking about it. See, every time Fer tells me that I look nice or that those jeans look real good, or something to that extent, I always say, Oh, thanks and move on... But when a complete stranger tells me that he thinks I'm beautiful, I feel that, wow, so I am beautiful... Isn't that weird? It's not like he makes me feel that indeed he's right and forget what I think.. but his comment makes me feel so flattered! Why? why can't I feel flattered by Fer when he tells me that I look nice/beautiful? Girls work in weird ways I tell you!

I have to admit though, the best compliments come from my son Adrian.... Mom, you look cool! See, I like that!

Miscellaneous Thoughts...

2006-10-27T15:04:00.000-05:00

I have been recently thinking of all the bad choices I've made with my life.... There are MANY, I'll tell you that much. I mean, I'm 24, almost 25... IF, I would re-live my life, it would be done differently. I wouldn't of dated so seriously at a young age! I wouldn't of gotten involved in a serious relationship and had a baby so young in life.. WHY? Well, at the young age of 18, I was a freshman in college, I had so much going for myself. By now, I would of had my masters, probably be pretty stable at a good position and with a condo somewhere here in downtown. BARELY, starting to think of being involved in a serious relationship. But then, I'm giving up on a lot too! See, having Adrian at a young age tough me more than any school could of ever teach me, and since he was born so little and sick, it made me appreciate him and just life in general so much more. I've had REAL hard times, financially, emotionally, etc, but now I see my life and yes, I'm going back to school, I'll probably be done with my BA next year and then I can go for my masters, I bought my first home, a pretty nice, new townhome and I have a pretty good job and I've been here for a while and they pay for my schooling... Oh, yeah, and I'm still with Fernando, that's a good thing! So, I guess my bad choices all summed up to something NOT so bad, right? I just did things in different order than some people do.

More pictures

2006-10-25T09:18:00.000-05:00

Here's one of Laika, my 3 year old Shar Pei:

Here's a picture of Rover, my 11 month old English Bulldog with Adrian...

Some pictures

2006-10-11T11:30:00.000-05:00

It's pinata time... Go Adrian...

The weather was perfect, good thing since his little party was done in my garage! lol...

After the party.....

It was fun...

2006-10-11T08:34:00.000-05:00

Well, Adrian's b-day was fun! Really, I thought that I would end up super tired, but I wasn't. He really liked his spiderman party, and well, I did too! He got many gifts and he felt special, that's what's important! On Sunday, though, I was very sentimental... I just thought about what if he wouldn't of made it... would I still have this love for him? Maybe not, who knows? Maybe instead of being this real special day in my boys life, it would just be a day with tears for me. I'm just glad that he's here with us and we had fun.

Little kids parties can be stressful, aren't they? By the time you prepare the food (I just had hot dogs and pizza), the kids are ready for games, after that, the Pinata, after that cake and then open gifts, it seems that they just want to go with the routine, it's sort of funny. Well, here I am now, back to work.

Talk to you soon!!! I will post a picture once I have some time...

Adrian

2006-10-03T14:54:00.000-05:00

So, I'm still here... Nothing much is new. My boy's birthday is this Sunday, I'm very happy for him, he's been waiting for his birthday for ever it seems. I'm making him a small birthday party at the house where he will be so happy! He's such a good boy, he always seems to make my life so much more pleasurable, but I guess that's what kids do, huh? It's nice to know that they have an unconditional love for you and that no matter what, they will always have a smiling face when you come home from work; they are such blessings! I love my boy, what can I say.
I've always considered Adrian to be my miracle boy... He was born premature and only had a 25% chance of survival, and he did it! My little fighter did it, he's awesome. He was very sick and in the hospital for the first 2 months of his life and with therapy for the next 5 years, but it seems that he's 100% good! he's going to regular kindergarten and he's loving it, and so am I! Well, I hope that his b-day is a hit for him and that he has fun on his 6th birthday... For me, well, wish me luck not to loose my patience!!!!!

Kindergarten

2006-09-13T13:31:00.000-05:00

So, Adrian will soon be 6 and this is his 3rd year in school, but I still feel like he's my little baby going off to school! He's so mature, he makes me proud more and more every day. He comes home with these real funny ideas and stories, he's such a good companion! He is waiting eagerly for the day that the teacher will give him homework other than writing his name, etc. He doesn't know what he's asking for. I remember kindergarten as well though, and I was like him, wanted homework, wanted to feel like the big kids, unlike him, I had 2 older sisters and 2 older brothers, so I saw them with homework and well, naturally I wanted some of my own. Wasn't kindergarten so fun!? Those days never do come back...but then again, what days do?

Hello

2006-09-06T15:00:00.000-05:00

I'm a 24 year old mother of a wonderful 5 year old boy, Adrian. I am not married, although I've been with my boyfriend, Fernando, (Adrian's dad) for almost 9 years and have lived with him for over 6 (why we're not married? I don't know!). I live in Joliet, IL, just moved there in May when we bought our first home! I work in Downtown Chicago. I've worked here for over 5 years. Back in March, Fernando and I did a documentary show for Showtime, called Sexual Healing, where we met with Dr. Berman and stayed in a beautiful penthouse in downtown for a week. That was very cool, the whole experience was awesome! Since then, well, since Fernando and I actually saw ourselves on actual TV is when we started changing and I think our relationship has gotten better.

Okay, other than that, I have 2 dogs, a female Shar Pei, Laika - she's 3 years old, and a male English bulldog, Rover - he's 10 months old. I love them to death!!!

So, here I am....I hope you enjoy my blog.